The Angels in my Life

My mind has often turned to something that someone told me during my trials. They told me that perhaps in the pre-existence we were allowed to pick our earthly family units. If this is so, then my children picked me, just as I picked my parents. I kind of like this idea, because it gives me comfort.

But then, this brings on a whole new meaning of God's individual plan for each of us. For me, God's plan is intricately intertwined with my husband, my close friends, strangers, and my future children. We gain impressions with every person we meet, whether good or bad; family members and friends can directly impact our lives positively or negatively. 

God's plan is perfect and I truly believe He sends people into our lives at the exact time we need them, but He also sends people out of our lives simultaneously. God is truly looking out for us and guiding us--He may not be able to comfort directly, but He sends Earthly Angels to comfort in His stead.

I have some shining personal angels on this earth. I won't name them, because honestly, they know exactly if I am talking about them. They are the ones who let me talk and not feel judged. They are the ones who I can shamelessly become a ball of tears and snot. They are the ones who contact me often to let me know I am not alone. They know my trials and they do everything in their power to help me, even if they don't understand all that I struggle with.

I have one friend who I respect dearly. I know she struggles to know how to help me, because she has directly told me that she doesn't quite understand, but that doesn't make her give up on me. She has been a shining beacon, a therapist, and a great friend to me. She visited me each time as I lost my babies and a couple times a week for quite a while after the fact. I became friends with her just in time for these strenuous trials to engulf my life and she has never once left my side. This is amazing to me when I think of how some close friends disappeared in my deepest time of need, but a friend that I had just come to know became one of the closest confidants I could imagine.

I have a pair of friends who are also thinking about entering the stage to become parents and they have really shown love to my husband and I. She tries to understand my trials and shows so much empathy. She makes me laugh but also makes me cry because of her kindness. She once told me that she wanted me to get pregnant and have a child before her. I think this was because she understood that it sometimes hurts me to see others reaching the stage in life I can only pray for at the moment. It's funny, but the fact she said that and understands my hurt makes me want her to have children all the more. She and her husband will make beautiful parents.

I believe that those friendships were divinely inspired into my life years before these difficult trials began. They are my angels to comfort me when I am alone and life feels hopeless. I have no idea how I would have made it through the holidays without them.

They are a part of God's plan for me. They are in my life to let me know there is still good in this world.

I also believe my future children share a plan with me. I believe that my two angel babies had a plan God gave them and in this plan they didn't have to stay on this earth very long to make an impact.

My individual plan was directly impacted by my angel babies. Without them, I am a grieving mother, but I also have a stronger testimony of God's love for me. I have a stronger desire to live worthily for my lost children. I cling onto faith daily, because when you lose a child that is all you can do. I hope and pray I will see them again. Their brief moment in my life has drastically changed the way I act, the way I will love any children that I can raise in this life, and the way I see the Plan of Salvation.