This pregnancy is coming to an end. For me I feel like it is about time, but not in the same way people who are blessed to never have losses feel. I am not sitting here sick of pregnancy or wanting it over because I am "so uncomfortable". In fact, I have enjoyed this pregnancy and I am saddened to see it go even though I had random little problems throughout it all.
I will miss feeling Nathan on the inside. This pregnancy has given me a re-found hope in my body. After my losses I was worried I would never carry a child to term. Now I will be holding a baby anytime. I am excited to regain my body back as much as I can even though I plan on breastfeeding (so Nathan will still have a claim). The reason I feel like this pregnancy has gone on forever is because in a way it has. I have been pregnant for over a year with my three pregnancies together. If I count in the time in between each pregnancy where I suffered through deep sadness, wondering if I will ever have a child on this earth, then I have waited well over a year and a half for this baby. This is not counting the time we chose to wait to try for kids because of my field course getting in the way even though we longed for kids for years before Nathan. So I have waited. I am ready. I want Nathan to come as soon as he is ready.
I have officially gone off my aspirin therapy as of a couple days ago. It makes me worry a little, but not too much. Contractions have picked up even more, but now they are very much welcomed. Earlier this week we thought the baby might come soon since I was having contractions every 4 minutes for 9 hours before they settled down. But it just shows that Nathan is getting ready and my body is practicing and getting into gear. We wanted an August baby, but it looks like it isn't going to happen. I am not really a fan of September birthdays. There are just too many of them. I am sure Nathan will change my mind on my feelings about September birthdays.
My blood pressure has regulated. I am really happy about this because I don't want to be induced if it can be helped. Of course my blood pressure can spike anytime, but it has been nice not worrying about it at the moment. I am hoping for a smooth next few weeks.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Monday, August 18, 2014
36 Week Update
One-ish more month to go! I can't wait to meet Nathan! Nothing is terribly new symptom wise. Just lots of BH and blood pressure issues (headaches and swelling). We are pretty much ready for our boy to arrive. We mostly just need to stock up on more diapers and that is it (size 1 diapers). We meet with our doula again tomorrow (Tuesday the 19th) and I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday morning.
I got the Tdap shot and the next day I ran a high fever that eventually calmed down, but we missed a cousin's sealing and reception. We wanted to go, but I was monitoring my temperature just in case it got worse or stayed high. Daniel decided to stay home with me and keep me company since I felt absolutely miserable.
This past week Daniel graduated from BYU (he has 9 credits to finish, but seeing as he already has a full time position waiting for him he is not looking forward to more school at the moment). He has worked so hard these past years. I have witnessed the long hours into the night, the stressful moments, and his struggles with some teachers and group mates. But it is almost over!
This semester will be his hardest even though he is taking 9 credits. I kind of snort when people hear he only has 9 credits and they say something along the line of "oh, that will be an easy semester!" Yes, 9 credits isn't full time, but those 9 credits are all credits directly related to his field which means hard, time consuming classes. And not just that, but it won't be a normal semester of just working at school and putting hours in at work. It will be a semester of a brand new baby (which Daniel won't be able to take school off and only a week (if that) from work). He will also have to work extra hard to keep our income flowing for our move and the baby. And on top of this we are moving far out of state which requires lots of detailed (and worrisome) planning for the winter move (along with the financial stress of getting a new car, eeek). I already worry for his sanity, and mine. I wish with all my heart he could take time off school and work for just a week without feeling behind so that he can bond with the baby we have struggled to have. Our only solace is the fact we will have a normalized life once we settle into our new Wisconsin home. 4-5 more months and life will be as normal as we can get it. We are so looking forward to a steady income and no more school (for now). We just ask for continued prayers and positive thoughts as we face these huge life transitioning times all at once.
I know some people think we are crazy, but these events are all necessary and unfortunately (and fortunately) they are all happening at the same time. Daniel and I do feel incredibly blessed that he is finishing and he has a job. We feel blessed for our child and know that he is coming at the perfect time for us even if life will be hectic for a little while. We know we will be just fine, maybe a little battered and bruised, but we will be stronger people for developing through these upcoming trials.
This past weekend Daniel's wonderful parents came to town to celebrate in graduation festivities. We had a great time! I absolutely love his parents! They take such good care of us. We went out to eat, they bought us groceries (thank you so much), we were artistic at 'Color Me Mine' and we went to the renovated Ogden Temple open house (where they were sealed and Daniel's dad received his endowments). It was a memorable visit. I didn't want them to leave. Now I am exhausted from being out on my feet for that long, but it was well worth it!!
I do wish we could live closer to them at times, especially once Nathan is born. I feel sad that Nathan won't have much time with his aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents out in Washington. Next year will be hectic only because we will be figuring out our budget and Daniel doesn't know when or how much time off he will get for that summer. Worst case scenario, I plan on coming out for at least a week with Nathan while Daniel stays home (preferably overlapping with Fletcher time). We will make it work and at least we aren't working around two work and school schedules like previous years. It should be easier to plan and stay longer, right!? Also, I may be a little selfish, but once Daniel gets some vacation time next year, we will want to use it spending time together with Nathan seeing as we haven't had a break due to school, work, and baby problems since we were married (nearly 4 years). With the emotional stress from the miscarriages we really need time to bond as husband and wife away from the world in a positive environment. We need to get out for a couple days and make memories outside the rut of everyday living. Maybe we will drop Nathan off at the grandparents and do a mini trip...or we will take Nathan with us (the more the merrier).
Anyways, that is enough rambling from me.
I got the Tdap shot and the next day I ran a high fever that eventually calmed down, but we missed a cousin's sealing and reception. We wanted to go, but I was monitoring my temperature just in case it got worse or stayed high. Daniel decided to stay home with me and keep me company since I felt absolutely miserable.
This past week Daniel graduated from BYU (he has 9 credits to finish, but seeing as he already has a full time position waiting for him he is not looking forward to more school at the moment). He has worked so hard these past years. I have witnessed the long hours into the night, the stressful moments, and his struggles with some teachers and group mates. But it is almost over!
This semester will be his hardest even though he is taking 9 credits. I kind of snort when people hear he only has 9 credits and they say something along the line of "oh, that will be an easy semester!" Yes, 9 credits isn't full time, but those 9 credits are all credits directly related to his field which means hard, time consuming classes. And not just that, but it won't be a normal semester of just working at school and putting hours in at work. It will be a semester of a brand new baby (which Daniel won't be able to take school off and only a week (if that) from work). He will also have to work extra hard to keep our income flowing for our move and the baby. And on top of this we are moving far out of state which requires lots of detailed (and worrisome) planning for the winter move (along with the financial stress of getting a new car, eeek). I already worry for his sanity, and mine. I wish with all my heart he could take time off school and work for just a week without feeling behind so that he can bond with the baby we have struggled to have. Our only solace is the fact we will have a normalized life once we settle into our new Wisconsin home. 4-5 more months and life will be as normal as we can get it. We are so looking forward to a steady income and no more school (for now). We just ask for continued prayers and positive thoughts as we face these huge life transitioning times all at once.
I know some people think we are crazy, but these events are all necessary and unfortunately (and fortunately) they are all happening at the same time. Daniel and I do feel incredibly blessed that he is finishing and he has a job. We feel blessed for our child and know that he is coming at the perfect time for us even if life will be hectic for a little while. We know we will be just fine, maybe a little battered and bruised, but we will be stronger people for developing through these upcoming trials.
This past weekend Daniel's wonderful parents came to town to celebrate in graduation festivities. We had a great time! I absolutely love his parents! They take such good care of us. We went out to eat, they bought us groceries (thank you so much), we were artistic at 'Color Me Mine' and we went to the renovated Ogden Temple open house (where they were sealed and Daniel's dad received his endowments). It was a memorable visit. I didn't want them to leave. Now I am exhausted from being out on my feet for that long, but it was well worth it!!
I do wish we could live closer to them at times, especially once Nathan is born. I feel sad that Nathan won't have much time with his aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents out in Washington. Next year will be hectic only because we will be figuring out our budget and Daniel doesn't know when or how much time off he will get for that summer. Worst case scenario, I plan on coming out for at least a week with Nathan while Daniel stays home (preferably overlapping with Fletcher time). We will make it work and at least we aren't working around two work and school schedules like previous years. It should be easier to plan and stay longer, right!? Also, I may be a little selfish, but once Daniel gets some vacation time next year, we will want to use it spending time together with Nathan seeing as we haven't had a break due to school, work, and baby problems since we were married (nearly 4 years). With the emotional stress from the miscarriages we really need time to bond as husband and wife away from the world in a positive environment. We need to get out for a couple days and make memories outside the rut of everyday living. Maybe we will drop Nathan off at the grandparents and do a mini trip...or we will take Nathan with us (the more the merrier).
Anyways, that is enough rambling from me.
Monday, August 4, 2014
34 Week Update
This past weekend Daniel helped me get most of the baby stuff in order. All we have to do now is prep our cloth diapers, but Nathan may not be able to use those right away. We have disposables in the meantime. Daniel also helped me pack for the hospital including a bag for us and Nathan. We are ready to go whenever Nathaniel is ready for his debut! There are still little things we want, but we are in pretty good shape. My wonderful husband also packed a bunch of the back room! It was such a productive weekend and it was one of the best birthday presents for me since I can't do much even though all the chores taunt me every day. Now I can relax a bit knowing I don't have to get everything done on my own resulting in a wave of contractions for hours. Other than my birthday in the Henry Mountains participating in field work, this was my favorite birthday thus far being married to Daniel. He made it so special.
I have been having more back pain, but mostly upper back pain. My hands are suffering from carpal tunnel, but I have had that pretty much since I worked at an ice cream place called Independent Dairy when I was 16 (it's just a little flared up due to pregnancy). I can definitely tell the baby is running out of room because my whole belly moves as he moves (and it isn't always the most comfortable). I am still having problems with too many contractions, but I am having no other sign of preterm labor so I am just hydrating and resting as much as I can. Headaches and swelling are beginning to become a problem but are not severe. I will talk to my doctor about that tomorrow at my early morning doctor appointment.
I can't believe that he could come at any time (preferably closer to term though)! Every day he is inside cooking is a blessing to me. I am so grateful he moves a lot to reassure me everything will be alright.
As time slowly moves towards D-day, I have turned my mind to our meeting of Nathan. I know it is going to be a very spiritual and uplifting moment and I am so excited for it! I also have a feeling it will be bittersweet as I think of those children waiting for me. I know they are rooting for their little brother to come safely.
I have been having more back pain, but mostly upper back pain. My hands are suffering from carpal tunnel, but I have had that pretty much since I worked at an ice cream place called Independent Dairy when I was 16 (it's just a little flared up due to pregnancy). I can definitely tell the baby is running out of room because my whole belly moves as he moves (and it isn't always the most comfortable). I am still having problems with too many contractions, but I am having no other sign of preterm labor so I am just hydrating and resting as much as I can. Headaches and swelling are beginning to become a problem but are not severe. I will talk to my doctor about that tomorrow at my early morning doctor appointment.
I can't believe that he could come at any time (preferably closer to term though)! Every day he is inside cooking is a blessing to me. I am so grateful he moves a lot to reassure me everything will be alright.
As time slowly moves towards D-day, I have turned my mind to our meeting of Nathan. I know it is going to be a very spiritual and uplifting moment and I am so excited for it! I also have a feeling it will be bittersweet as I think of those children waiting for me. I know they are rooting for their little brother to come safely.
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