Plans for this blog

I decided to think about where I wanted to go with this blog and what audience I am aiming it towards after staying up till 3am unable to shut down my brain.

Because this blog is about my struggles and perseverance to become a mother, I think it is only fit to start from the beginning.

The beginning for me was before I lost my first baby. I remember I was still in a geology field camp and I was worried that my activity level would harm the baby. I took extra care to not push myself too far during the end of the course. I also remember telling a few people the day I found out and how excited I was.I remember testing that morning. I chose not to wake Daniel because I didn't think we would get a positive, after all it was our first month of officially trying for a baby.

When I saw those two lines pop boldly on the test I was thrilled and woke Daniel up and we both hugged each other. Such a pure happy moment. I would have never expected my journey to have so many painful moments. Sometimes the pain makes me forget about those small happy moments I was blessed to have, even if they were fleeting.

So that was the very beginning for me. The start of all that was to follow. This blog will follow the joy of those pregnancies and the pain I felt for each. Some blog posts will be depressing and look like I was in the pits of despair--and I truly was at those times. I want my feelings to be accurate to what I was feeling then, so I will often draw on my journal that I religiously kept at those times. You will see as I progress from each miscarriage to this current pregnancy that I do go through a deep grieving process that eventually blossoms into something more beautiful and reassuring.

The audience for this blog is anyone who ventures to read it. I am a Latter-day Saint (AKA Mormon) and therefore many of my references will be to my religion that has kept me afloat through these hard times. If you are not religious, I ask that you respect my views as I respect yours and I hope that this blog can still be of some help. The main audience of this blog, I hope, will be other women struggling with their individual and unique journeys to become mothers. I am here to let you know that you are not alone. In the end, my audience is anyone who is willing to be like a child and learn of the pain some women experience. I hope to be able to help at least one lady with her struggles.