I just need to get this off my chest.
When you get married, you are NOT being promoted.
When you have kids, you are NOT being promoted!
Definition of Promotion
the action of raising someone to a higher position or rank or the fact of being so raised.
I have many single friends that I love dearly. Though I know many of them want to be married right now. I know being single feels like being a failure, especially when you have parents, siblings, and married friends putting pressure on you to get a ring on your finger. I remember being 21 and unmarried (LDS culture) and feeling like an old hag. People age 18 were getting married left and right and popping babies out before I was BLESSED with marriage. Key word, BLESSED. You are NOT being promoted, you are being BLESSED.
We all have blessings come at different times, though I hate hearing that myself and don't you dare lecture me on God's timing because I know more about God's timing in my own life better than you do (AKA Personal Revelation). Just like you know His timing in your life better than I do. I have no right to go up to you and say "You were just not meant to be married or have kids yet." I have no right to say that to anyone. We all go through our own struggles. People need to stop making life a competition and using words like "We are being promoted" denote competition and superiority over those who haven't been blessed with that particular thing yet.
After two recurrent pregnancy losses I felt like a failure for not doing something LDS women seem to be able to do without batting their eyelashes. One miscarriage, fine...I could take that because one miscarriage is common and even expected with your first try. Two miscarriages? No...now I either have really bad luck or there is actually something wrong with me. To say that all those who get pregnant the moment they are married (again LDS culture) are being promoted to mother and father-hood is absolutely bonkers. It's like saying to all those who haven't reached that stage (whether they are actively trying or not) are not as good as you are because you have a bun in the oven or are holding your precious child.
So next time you say you are being promoted...don't. That's the wrong word. It's a ridiculously stupid word to use in the LDS culture when it seems like if you don't reach certain milestones in life at a certain age you are a menace to society. This needs to stop now. It is my least favorite part of this culture and it is completely wrong. Not everyone on this earth will get married, not everyone will have the opportunity to have children. It's a blessing you are granted on this earth while others will be blessed later. Please keep this in mind. We are equals.
Again, you are not being promoted, you are not just lucky, you are being blessed for your righteous desires and you should be grateful for not going through struggles others have to endure to get what you are blatantly saying you are better than them for having (whether that was your intention or not).
We are all blessed for our righteous desires at different times. I am not being bitter about that, people are just using the wrong word. I am actually very grateful to be an angel mom. I am grateful for marrying when I was 21. I have the most amazing husband. I have the most amazing feelings of closeness to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I would never have if I didn't lose two babies. It is an awful feeling to send two most wanted children to Heaven and struggle to keep faith in God's timing, but in the end if you rise triumphantly it becomes the most unique blessing. I am so BLESSED to have two little ones waiting for me across the veil and to have another blessing developing every second inside me. I pray every day that I will be blessed to have that child make it into my arms so that I can do my part in raising the next righteous generation on this earth.
Blessings are amazing things, so use the right words and say you are being blessed.
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