This past weekend Daniel helped me get most of the baby stuff in order. All we have to do now is prep our cloth diapers, but Nathan may not be able to use those right away. We have disposables in the meantime. Daniel also helped me pack for the hospital including a bag for us and Nathan. We are ready to go whenever Nathaniel is ready for his debut! There are still little things we want, but we are in pretty good shape. My wonderful husband also packed a bunch of the back room! It was such a productive weekend and it was one of the best birthday presents for me since I can't do much even though all the chores taunt me every day. Now I can relax a bit knowing I don't have to get everything done on my own resulting in a wave of contractions for hours. Other than my birthday in the Henry Mountains participating in field work, this was my favorite birthday thus far being married to Daniel. He made it so special.
I have been having more back pain, but mostly upper back pain. My hands are suffering from carpal tunnel, but I have had that pretty much since I worked at an ice cream place called Independent Dairy when I was 16 (it's just a little flared up due to pregnancy). I can definitely tell the baby is running out of room because my whole belly moves as he moves (and it isn't always the most comfortable). I am still having problems with too many contractions, but I am having no other sign of preterm labor so I am just hydrating and resting as much as I can. Headaches and swelling are beginning to become a problem but are not severe. I will talk to my doctor about that tomorrow at my early morning doctor appointment.
I can't believe that he could come at any time (preferably closer to term though)! Every day he is inside cooking is a blessing to me. I am so grateful he moves a lot to reassure me everything will be alright.
As time slowly moves towards D-day, I have turned my mind to our meeting of Nathan. I know it is going to be a very spiritual and uplifting moment and I am so excited for it! I also have a feeling it will be bittersweet as I think of those children waiting for me. I know they are rooting for their little brother to come safely.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
32 Week Update
When I was almost 31 weeks I had a mini hospital visit for bleeding and contractions. They have no idea why I was bleeding (it has since stopped) and just told me to hydrate and rest for contractions (duh, like I didn't know that and do that already). Even with hydrating even more than I do and resting more than I do, I could not get the contractions down to a normal level until almost a week later. Now I am afraid I am going to type this and have way too many again as if I am jinxing myself. I know some practice contractions are normal and even a good sign at this point as the uterus get ready, but I was having some real contractions and too many in an hour. I am just glad this baby seems to be sticking around and if I were to go into preterm labor he would have a very good fighting chance...though he has been breech so preterm labor (if they couldn't stop it) would possibly mean a c-section. Let's not think about this. Just send prayers my way that Nathan will turn and stay turned when the time comes because I already have had trouble keeping a baby, I don't need the limitations c-sections create for future childbearing (though a c-section is MUCH more preferable than the death of my child).
Happier news. A day after the hospital visit (which was the same day we lost our first baby, yay for bad timing) we had my baby shower. I had a great time and I am so grateful for everything we received as well as the love we have been showed. I saw a lot of people I have been wanting to talk to for ages!
Yesterday we went to the scera outdoor theater in Orem, Utah for some Les Mis action. A friend and her husband gave us the tickets and even though I was worried I wouldn't enjoy it due to the fact it was outside and sitting on a hill while very pregnant, I had a great time. I did have some bad back pain and I was uncomfortable, but the performance beyond met my expectations and succeeded in putting all the songs in my head. I thought the performers sung much better than the movie version released not too long ago (which is not hard to do). Daniel and I really needed a night away to do something fun and this was perfect.
I can still wear my rings (though I choose not to most of the time now because the heat swells me up). My belly button is steadily becoming an outie. Daniel likes teasing me about it. I did not escape stretch marks, but these are genetic so I can just blame my genes and in turn pass those on to any daughters I am blessed to have in the future (hehehe). I know it may sound weird, but I actually like the stretch marks (minus the itching). For me, they are proof that my body carried a baby this far and they are proof to me that Nathan is growing really fast now!!!
I already mentioned back pain...which can get pretty bad if I am sitting up too long, but I am trying to stay in forward leaning positions when relaxing to help the baby to turn. My weight gain has been normal. My net weight gain has been about 13 pounds (from starting weight) and if you include the weight gained after I lost some due to morning sickness, then I have gained 23 pounds. I wish I hadn't gained those 10 pounds I lost back so quickly! I went from not being able to eat one thing, to being put on meds and once on the medication I didn't realize that I was eating normally again until I saw how quickly I was gaining weight. That was the perfect time to start eating a healthier diet again and not just things that sounded like they would stay down. Oh, I have nasty acid reflux thanks to my wonderful growing Nathaniel. I can not tell you how many times I have woken up with vomit in my mouth (and yes, I do eat small meals and wait a while after a meal before I go to bed). So far, my feet and hands are not swollen. I am hoping to escape pre-eclampsia. My feet do look like man, but they aren't swollen (unless active outside all day).
We still have lots of stuff to do before the baby comes, which includes packing up our other bedroom so that when the baby comes we don't have to tackle that room when we pack to move (let's see if this actually gets done or if I am just wishfully dreaming). I need to groom the dogs one last time before Nathan's arrival so that the next time they need a hair cut is in October and hopefully I will feel up to doing it then to save us more money. Very high maintenance dogs! Then, of course we need to clean the house and wash baby items along with buying the remainder of the things we need for him. I also need to start thinking about packing the hospital and baby bag for the big day! I really hope I will be given the opportunity to have a natural birth (turn baby).
That's probably about it.
Happier news. A day after the hospital visit (which was the same day we lost our first baby, yay for bad timing) we had my baby shower. I had a great time and I am so grateful for everything we received as well as the love we have been showed. I saw a lot of people I have been wanting to talk to for ages!
Yesterday we went to the scera outdoor theater in Orem, Utah for some Les Mis action. A friend and her husband gave us the tickets and even though I was worried I wouldn't enjoy it due to the fact it was outside and sitting on a hill while very pregnant, I had a great time. I did have some bad back pain and I was uncomfortable, but the performance beyond met my expectations and succeeded in putting all the songs in my head. I thought the performers sung much better than the movie version released not too long ago (which is not hard to do). Daniel and I really needed a night away to do something fun and this was perfect.
I can still wear my rings (though I choose not to most of the time now because the heat swells me up). My belly button is steadily becoming an outie. Daniel likes teasing me about it. I did not escape stretch marks, but these are genetic so I can just blame my genes and in turn pass those on to any daughters I am blessed to have in the future (hehehe). I know it may sound weird, but I actually like the stretch marks (minus the itching). For me, they are proof that my body carried a baby this far and they are proof to me that Nathan is growing really fast now!!!
I already mentioned back pain...which can get pretty bad if I am sitting up too long, but I am trying to stay in forward leaning positions when relaxing to help the baby to turn. My weight gain has been normal. My net weight gain has been about 13 pounds (from starting weight) and if you include the weight gained after I lost some due to morning sickness, then I have gained 23 pounds. I wish I hadn't gained those 10 pounds I lost back so quickly! I went from not being able to eat one thing, to being put on meds and once on the medication I didn't realize that I was eating normally again until I saw how quickly I was gaining weight. That was the perfect time to start eating a healthier diet again and not just things that sounded like they would stay down. Oh, I have nasty acid reflux thanks to my wonderful growing Nathaniel. I can not tell you how many times I have woken up with vomit in my mouth (and yes, I do eat small meals and wait a while after a meal before I go to bed). So far, my feet and hands are not swollen. I am hoping to escape pre-eclampsia. My feet do look like man, but they aren't swollen (unless active outside all day).
We still have lots of stuff to do before the baby comes, which includes packing up our other bedroom so that when the baby comes we don't have to tackle that room when we pack to move (let's see if this actually gets done or if I am just wishfully dreaming). I need to groom the dogs one last time before Nathan's arrival so that the next time they need a hair cut is in October and hopefully I will feel up to doing it then to save us more money. Very high maintenance dogs! Then, of course we need to clean the house and wash baby items along with buying the remainder of the things we need for him. I also need to start thinking about packing the hospital and baby bag for the big day! I really hope I will be given the opportunity to have a natural birth (turn baby).
That's probably about it.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Angelversary of Baby #1
This morning I woke up and the first thing that came to my mind was "today was the day we sent our first baby to heaven." I briefly mentioned it to Daniel before he left for work and a sad look crossed his face and he replied "I know." I have been looking back at the events of a year ago and I mostly regret two things: I wish I had taken a picture of my tiny, but perfect child and I wish I hadn't been flustered at the doctor's office and taken my dead baby home to be buried somewhere, anywhere, other than thrown into medical waste.
I know most people these days just believe my baby was just a bundle of cells. If I lost Nathan right now they would still tell me he wasn't my child because he didn't take a breath of air. But nope, Nathan is a grown child. If he were to come today he would most likely survive. Our first baby, though earlier in the developmental stage, was just as alive, though extremely fragile. He was a human being with potential, just not ready to live outside the womb. I hate how this world views pregnancy. I could go on and on about how much I hate abortion and don't believe it should be legal (expect for very strenuous circumstances), but I don't want to debate about it because I know those so steadfast with the ideals of the world will not change. It's just the world we live in and why should I waste my breath unless I feel they are mold able and willing to reassess and learn. That being said, I do know that many who end up going the abortion route live with that regret the rest of their lives and to them I just want to hug and cry with because they know the loss of a child as well. Just because people make bad decisions does not mean they cannot have that child later in life if they take advantage of the Atonement. But that is a conversation for another time...a really deep conversation that Daniel and I had while eating at Red Robin a few weeks ago. I know my babies are mine to keep through revelation and that is the only way anyone can find out for themselves. (whew...didn't mean to start talking about this).
I wish I had some kind of proof other than records at a hospital or doctor's office that my first and second baby existed. I have things I bought for the first baby that are still packed away. I honestly don't want to see them until a much later date, but anyone looking at those things would think I bought them for Nathan. I once had pregnancy tests that I kept in a secure place (mostly proof to me while I was pregnant for the first weeks and still in the "I can't believe this is happening" mode), but I stumbled upon them a month after losing our first and threw them out.
If only I had taken a picture of my baby. I know it sounds gross, but I would never show it to the world. It would be that ounce of proof to me. All I have is a very clear memory of that sac and a small beautiful child inside. All I have is the feeling of how much it was all over as I looked at my baby and then realized my doctor wanted to see it the next day so I put him in a plastic bag and put him out of sight until the next morning. I still remember the doctor saying that everything was fine and I could still be pregnant at my appointment until I shook my head and passed him my baby which he promptly began to push and squash in the plastic bag before throwing him out. The night I lost my baby it was very hard not to think of the ultrasound I had the day before showing that my baby was still alive. I had seen my baby's flickering heartbeat twice (once a week before the loss, and the other 24 hours before the loss). It was comforting, but difficult having the knowledge my baby was alive just 24 hours before the contractions started.
Being just a couple months away from meeting Nathan does make this day easier, but it also makes it harder in other ways. Nathan has recently gone through another of many growth spurts yesterday and the day before which I can tell have left him tired so he has been moving around, just tinier movements. This morning Daniel gave Nathan what we like to call a "heart to heart" (we have many of those with Shadow). Daniel told Nathan that today is a hard day for us and that Nathan should know this already since the veil is so thin for him. Daniel told him not to make me worry and gave Nathan orders to move around lots today to keep me happy. He also told Nathan that I will most likely help by eating sugary things like ice cream haha. The moment Daniel left for work, this baby immediately moved more than he has ever (which he moves a LOT normally). I am grateful that I have Nathan and so very grateful I have Daniel. Even though I miss my other babies, I have been given personal revelation that I will raise them. They are waiting for me. I am a mother to three, though only one of those three will be raised on this earth at this time. I guess this is my ultimate test of patience because I can't wait to meet them.
I know most people these days just believe my baby was just a bundle of cells. If I lost Nathan right now they would still tell me he wasn't my child because he didn't take a breath of air. But nope, Nathan is a grown child. If he were to come today he would most likely survive. Our first baby, though earlier in the developmental stage, was just as alive, though extremely fragile. He was a human being with potential, just not ready to live outside the womb. I hate how this world views pregnancy. I could go on and on about how much I hate abortion and don't believe it should be legal (expect for very strenuous circumstances), but I don't want to debate about it because I know those so steadfast with the ideals of the world will not change. It's just the world we live in and why should I waste my breath unless I feel they are mold able and willing to reassess and learn. That being said, I do know that many who end up going the abortion route live with that regret the rest of their lives and to them I just want to hug and cry with because they know the loss of a child as well. Just because people make bad decisions does not mean they cannot have that child later in life if they take advantage of the Atonement. But that is a conversation for another time...a really deep conversation that Daniel and I had while eating at Red Robin a few weeks ago. I know my babies are mine to keep through revelation and that is the only way anyone can find out for themselves. (whew...didn't mean to start talking about this).
I wish I had some kind of proof other than records at a hospital or doctor's office that my first and second baby existed. I have things I bought for the first baby that are still packed away. I honestly don't want to see them until a much later date, but anyone looking at those things would think I bought them for Nathan. I once had pregnancy tests that I kept in a secure place (mostly proof to me while I was pregnant for the first weeks and still in the "I can't believe this is happening" mode), but I stumbled upon them a month after losing our first and threw them out.
If only I had taken a picture of my baby. I know it sounds gross, but I would never show it to the world. It would be that ounce of proof to me. All I have is a very clear memory of that sac and a small beautiful child inside. All I have is the feeling of how much it was all over as I looked at my baby and then realized my doctor wanted to see it the next day so I put him in a plastic bag and put him out of sight until the next morning. I still remember the doctor saying that everything was fine and I could still be pregnant at my appointment until I shook my head and passed him my baby which he promptly began to push and squash in the plastic bag before throwing him out. The night I lost my baby it was very hard not to think of the ultrasound I had the day before showing that my baby was still alive. I had seen my baby's flickering heartbeat twice (once a week before the loss, and the other 24 hours before the loss). It was comforting, but difficult having the knowledge my baby was alive just 24 hours before the contractions started.
Being just a couple months away from meeting Nathan does make this day easier, but it also makes it harder in other ways. Nathan has recently gone through another of many growth spurts yesterday and the day before which I can tell have left him tired so he has been moving around, just tinier movements. This morning Daniel gave Nathan what we like to call a "heart to heart" (we have many of those with Shadow). Daniel told Nathan that today is a hard day for us and that Nathan should know this already since the veil is so thin for him. Daniel told him not to make me worry and gave Nathan orders to move around lots today to keep me happy. He also told Nathan that I will most likely help by eating sugary things like ice cream haha. The moment Daniel left for work, this baby immediately moved more than he has ever (which he moves a LOT normally). I am grateful that I have Nathan and so very grateful I have Daniel. Even though I miss my other babies, I have been given personal revelation that I will raise them. They are waiting for me. I am a mother to three, though only one of those three will be raised on this earth at this time. I guess this is my ultimate test of patience because I can't wait to meet them.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Lots of Random Ramblings
Busy, busy, busy! That is what June and this week are all about. Yes, I stay home all day, but in the evenings we are busy running errands, taking classes, meeting with people, and just a lot of overwhelming stuff.
This week is particularly busy for Daniel. He has recently taken on another job (working BYU security) along with his full time internship at Wavetronix. This week he is clocking nearly 30 hours for the security job along with his 40 hours of his internship. This won't be the norm because not every week is Independence week. He is working Stadium of Fire and this also does not just involve the actual event, but working security the week of the event to make sure hooligans aren't getting in the way! Other weeks should be much more settled down and we are looking forward to the calmer times. I am just so grateful for how dedicated he is to help our family. I am grateful that I have a motivated husband who is willing to do all he can so that Nathan and I will not struggle in the future. So even though I am saddened that I will not see him much this week (except for our 10 minute hustle to find and get his uniform on for a last minute shift) I am still extremely happy for his dedication.
I am also happy he is busy because July is a month of sad one year anniversaries for us. Tomorrow (July 3, 2013) was the day I started bleeding in my first pregnancy. We had an emergency ultrasound and discovered our baby was just fine, just measuring a little smaller, but not small enough for doctors to be terribly concerned. Though I know my cycles are clockwork and had a bad feeling. We ended up cancelling our trip to Boston last year because of our 50% chance to miscarry. July 10th was the day I held my first baby in my hands. He was so tiny, but perfect to me. It was the day I learned that emotional pain could be just as severe as physical pain. I never cried so hard in my life. I can't believe it has been a year. Time has gone by so quickly and I feel like my life has just been wasting away.
I was originally going to apply for grad school at BYU and start this September 2014. But after the second miscarriage I lost all motivation to take the GRE and fill out applications. I originally thought Daniel and I were going to stay in Utah for years and settle down...but I guess God has different plans for us. If we hadn't lost our two babies then Daniel would have never been able to accept a job in Wisconsin because I would have begun grad work in Utah. Amazing how things turn out. Though I am sad my education is put on hold for a while. I probably won't do grad work until we are done having kids, but that isn't bad. I will just be a 30+ old PhD candidate and that is completely fine. I would love to do research at an university and be home in time for when the kids come home from school. I do want to stay home with the kids until the youngest is old enough for elementary school (bonding and no paying for day care). I guess I am learning a lot about family sacrifices this year. I am, once again, just grateful that Daniel is a hard worker and doesn't need to get more education to get a decent job (Geology is quite different if you have a family or don't want to work a ridiculous grunt job).
On a happier note, Nathan has been wonderful as always. The pregnant belly is getting bigger everyday, but I am barrel shaped so I am not popping out all in front, but I am on the sides (goodbye waist). He turned breech, but he still has a while to turn back (fingers crossed he doesn't get too comfortable and never turns). I have a lot of things I can do to encourage him to flip so I am not too worried yet. My belly button is still in but looks funky. I can still wear my rings unless if I am out in the heat for too long. I didn't get any stretch marks until a couple weeks ago, but they are just my love scars or my tiger stripes (as Daniel fondly calls them). The baby is growing so quickly these days so I would have been surprised if I never got a stretch mark. Now that I am taking iron supplements I am feeling more energetic and even sleeping better because my restless leg syndrome is not as bad. That's about all I have to ramble about right now.
This week is particularly busy for Daniel. He has recently taken on another job (working BYU security) along with his full time internship at Wavetronix. This week he is clocking nearly 30 hours for the security job along with his 40 hours of his internship. This won't be the norm because not every week is Independence week. He is working Stadium of Fire and this also does not just involve the actual event, but working security the week of the event to make sure hooligans aren't getting in the way! Other weeks should be much more settled down and we are looking forward to the calmer times. I am just so grateful for how dedicated he is to help our family. I am grateful that I have a motivated husband who is willing to do all he can so that Nathan and I will not struggle in the future. So even though I am saddened that I will not see him much this week (except for our 10 minute hustle to find and get his uniform on for a last minute shift) I am still extremely happy for his dedication.
I am also happy he is busy because July is a month of sad one year anniversaries for us. Tomorrow (July 3, 2013) was the day I started bleeding in my first pregnancy. We had an emergency ultrasound and discovered our baby was just fine, just measuring a little smaller, but not small enough for doctors to be terribly concerned. Though I know my cycles are clockwork and had a bad feeling. We ended up cancelling our trip to Boston last year because of our 50% chance to miscarry. July 10th was the day I held my first baby in my hands. He was so tiny, but perfect to me. It was the day I learned that emotional pain could be just as severe as physical pain. I never cried so hard in my life. I can't believe it has been a year. Time has gone by so quickly and I feel like my life has just been wasting away.
I was originally going to apply for grad school at BYU and start this September 2014. But after the second miscarriage I lost all motivation to take the GRE and fill out applications. I originally thought Daniel and I were going to stay in Utah for years and settle down...but I guess God has different plans for us. If we hadn't lost our two babies then Daniel would have never been able to accept a job in Wisconsin because I would have begun grad work in Utah. Amazing how things turn out. Though I am sad my education is put on hold for a while. I probably won't do grad work until we are done having kids, but that isn't bad. I will just be a 30+ old PhD candidate and that is completely fine. I would love to do research at an university and be home in time for when the kids come home from school. I do want to stay home with the kids until the youngest is old enough for elementary school (bonding and no paying for day care). I guess I am learning a lot about family sacrifices this year. I am, once again, just grateful that Daniel is a hard worker and doesn't need to get more education to get a decent job (Geology is quite different if you have a family or don't want to work a ridiculous grunt job).
On a happier note, Nathan has been wonderful as always. The pregnant belly is getting bigger everyday, but I am barrel shaped so I am not popping out all in front, but I am on the sides (goodbye waist). He turned breech, but he still has a while to turn back (fingers crossed he doesn't get too comfortable and never turns). I have a lot of things I can do to encourage him to flip so I am not too worried yet. My belly button is still in but looks funky. I can still wear my rings unless if I am out in the heat for too long. I didn't get any stretch marks until a couple weeks ago, but they are just my love scars or my tiger stripes (as Daniel fondly calls them). The baby is growing so quickly these days so I would have been surprised if I never got a stretch mark. Now that I am taking iron supplements I am feeling more energetic and even sleeping better because my restless leg syndrome is not as bad. That's about all I have to ramble about right now.
Friday, June 20, 2014
Third Trimester (28 weeks)
Not too much to update. Restless leg syndrome and pee breaks at night keep me up, but even with naps during the day I still get really tired. I am interested to find out if I am anemic at my appointment on Tuesday the 24th. Also I have my glucose test that day (I really hope I don't have gestational diabetes). Wish me luck! I hope I don't get sick from it! It's an early appointment (8am) so I will have to down that sucker at 7am! Yuck! Mornings are my worse for nausea, what was I thinking?!
I am meeting my doula on Monday! I have Laurel Lowe (a hynobirthing doula). I know with her and my husband helping me I will be able to stay calm and face anything that happens. I am glad I have a great support team! Plus, with her helping out, Daniel can take breaks and not (hopefully) wear himself out. Though I know he will be extremely involved through the whole experience of bringing our sweet boy into this world. He has been so loving and supportive during our whole journey. I have no words that can express my love for him.
Next weekend a friend is getting married and I am just so stoked for that!!! It is such a special moment when two people start their lives together! It has made me reflect back to when Daniel and I met as well as our whole marriage. I have no complaints, only love that increases every single day!
Daniel's brother and his wife had their baby on Father's Day (congrats you guys!) and that officially marks the end to the burst of babies born around the time of my second angel. It is healing that everyone has their babies. I will hold my two angels one day, it just isn't time for me to hold them, but Nathan will be in those aching arms in just a few months. I feel so incredibly blessed to be a mother of three souls.
I love feeling Nathan hiccup. I felt his hiccups in my bum yesterday haha. Now that is an odd feeling. He also likes to dig his feet into my right ribs (stretching) then kick them. Let's see if I can last without getting a bruised or broken rib. I also felt him hiccup and then move his head to a different location and continue his hiccups. It felt special knowing exactly where he was moving (though I am sure he wasn't too happy about his long hiccup burst). I tried taking a nap today and it was partially successful, but Nathan decided that was the perfect time to do some extreme monkeying around. There was one time I almost yelled at Daniel to stop shaking the bed at night, but then I realized it was Nathan that was shaking me! He is a strong one and that is absolutely perfect! I am very grateful that he is an active child. I feel like that has been one of the best blessings of this pregnancy--knowing that he is completely fine everyday. I have only had one or two days when he rested longer than normal and I got a little worried.
Still lots to do to prepare for his arrival, but we have three months left. Thanks to all those who have and will help with baby gear (we really, really appreciate it)!
I am meeting my doula on Monday! I have Laurel Lowe (a hynobirthing doula). I know with her and my husband helping me I will be able to stay calm and face anything that happens. I am glad I have a great support team! Plus, with her helping out, Daniel can take breaks and not (hopefully) wear himself out. Though I know he will be extremely involved through the whole experience of bringing our sweet boy into this world. He has been so loving and supportive during our whole journey. I have no words that can express my love for him.
Next weekend a friend is getting married and I am just so stoked for that!!! It is such a special moment when two people start their lives together! It has made me reflect back to when Daniel and I met as well as our whole marriage. I have no complaints, only love that increases every single day!
Daniel's brother and his wife had their baby on Father's Day (congrats you guys!) and that officially marks the end to the burst of babies born around the time of my second angel. It is healing that everyone has their babies. I will hold my two angels one day, it just isn't time for me to hold them, but Nathan will be in those aching arms in just a few months. I feel so incredibly blessed to be a mother of three souls.
I love feeling Nathan hiccup. I felt his hiccups in my bum yesterday haha. Now that is an odd feeling. He also likes to dig his feet into my right ribs (stretching) then kick them. Let's see if I can last without getting a bruised or broken rib. I also felt him hiccup and then move his head to a different location and continue his hiccups. It felt special knowing exactly where he was moving (though I am sure he wasn't too happy about his long hiccup burst). I tried taking a nap today and it was partially successful, but Nathan decided that was the perfect time to do some extreme monkeying around. There was one time I almost yelled at Daniel to stop shaking the bed at night, but then I realized it was Nathan that was shaking me! He is a strong one and that is absolutely perfect! I am very grateful that he is an active child. I feel like that has been one of the best blessings of this pregnancy--knowing that he is completely fine everyday. I have only had one or two days when he rested longer than normal and I got a little worried.
Still lots to do to prepare for his arrival, but we have three months left. Thanks to all those who have and will help with baby gear (we really, really appreciate it)!
Monday, June 16, 2014
Challenge Accepted (BoM)
Today I was on Pinterest and a couple people were posting the 90 Day Book of Mormon Reading Chart. I have done this challenge, or similar ones like it before and found it rewarding. I find that I have been struggling to read lately, mostly a fatigue thing (can't keep my eyes open), but I have been missing the spiritual enlightenment. Then today I realized that my pregnancy app says I have 89 days till my due date. Nathan can stay in as long as he needs so I understand he may not come until much later, but I thought that this would be the perfect activity to do as I await and prepare for my little boy! Therefore, challenge accepted!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
26 week update
I am a little late on this update, mostly because I have been focusing on myself and my own well-being as this time of year has been very difficult (everyone and their dog having babies which reminds me how I am not giving birth to my second angel baby). This was also the time of year I was pregnant for the first time...I can't believe how naive I was back then...but I do wish I could go back to how wonderful I felt in that pregnancy, no matter how short lived it was.
July 10th is my first angelversary (the day we officially lost our first baby). I am looking forward to getting past that day. May, June, and July suck, but once I get past Collin's angelversary I can breathe a bit easier because Nathaniel's due month will be in sight! I don't care when he comes, except there is one day in September I hope will not become his birthday (luckily it is at the very end of 42 weeks gestation so the chance is slim...fingers crossed).
Update (currently 26w3d):
I am feeling pretty good minus a small new problem that has put me on a "lay down a couple times a day for a few minutes" schedule. Hey it's better than normal bed rest!
I had a terrible visit with a nurse late last week. I am still angry about it. You do NOT check someone's cervix at 26 weeks when there is no medical reason for it and especially NOT without consent (I did have to get something else checked so maybe she thought she could slip in a cervical check as well, but she did not give me the opportunity to express my opinion on early checking). My last scan (at 24w3d) showed no abnormal thinning of my cervix so there was even less reason for the check.
My wedding ring and my angel baby ring are both still fitting perfectly on my hands, though if you don't see me wearing them it just means I have been outside a lot and the heat is now making me swell (I don't want my rings to suddenly get stuck from the heat!) or I just didn't put them on since I am home all day. I am grateful that we live in an air conditioned home so when I overheat I can cool down easily.
Daniel and I have been wanting to go on a small trip somewhere close in Utah for a few days, but we don't have the expenses right now. We feel we need a vacation after all we have been through but it is looking as if we won't rest until Daniel can get time off at his new job once we move to Wisconsin. We might go see the Manti Pageant one last time since we are moving out of state. We will also hit up the gardens and the zoo as well.
I have been motivated to do small crafts for "the nursery" but with moving soon after the baby is born we don't want extra stuff to pack...plus...honestly, nurseries (unless you live in your own home) are a bit pointless to me. I feel like they are more of a rite of passage for moms these days. Maybe when Daniel and I have our own home we can put time into something as materialistic as that. I do think it is neat to have crafts for when the child gets older and he can keep them. I also see the fun in dreaming and creating a nursery. When I was pregnant with our first I had planned on an elephant nursery and had a color scheme and crafts all planned out, now I am just thrilled to finally be blessed with a successful pregnancy. I will be excited to help him create a theme for his bedroom when he is older though!
I am really enjoying our hypnobirthing classes. I knew before I got pregnant for the third time that I was going to go by this method and I haven't been disappointed. I have been curious lately as to how my miscarriages have prepared me for giving birth to Nathan (since I did experience mini labors). I also feel like hypnobirthing has helped with father/baby and mother/baby bonding as well as husband/wife bonding. It has especially helped since multiple angel moms often have a difficult time bonding with the baby for sometimes weeks after the baby is born (and lots of angel moms end up with PPD). I know I can trust my body to do what it needs to do when the time comes since I was blessed with being able to miscarry naturally twice (some women can't and need assistance).
Other than that, Nathaniel is an active and seemingly happy child and we are eager to finally meet him!
July 10th is my first angelversary (the day we officially lost our first baby). I am looking forward to getting past that day. May, June, and July suck, but once I get past Collin's angelversary I can breathe a bit easier because Nathaniel's due month will be in sight! I don't care when he comes, except there is one day in September I hope will not become his birthday (luckily it is at the very end of 42 weeks gestation so the chance is slim...fingers crossed).
Update (currently 26w3d):
I am feeling pretty good minus a small new problem that has put me on a "lay down a couple times a day for a few minutes" schedule. Hey it's better than normal bed rest!
I had a terrible visit with a nurse late last week. I am still angry about it. You do NOT check someone's cervix at 26 weeks when there is no medical reason for it and especially NOT without consent (I did have to get something else checked so maybe she thought she could slip in a cervical check as well, but she did not give me the opportunity to express my opinion on early checking). My last scan (at 24w3d) showed no abnormal thinning of my cervix so there was even less reason for the check.
My wedding ring and my angel baby ring are both still fitting perfectly on my hands, though if you don't see me wearing them it just means I have been outside a lot and the heat is now making me swell (I don't want my rings to suddenly get stuck from the heat!) or I just didn't put them on since I am home all day. I am grateful that we live in an air conditioned home so when I overheat I can cool down easily.
Daniel and I have been wanting to go on a small trip somewhere close in Utah for a few days, but we don't have the expenses right now. We feel we need a vacation after all we have been through but it is looking as if we won't rest until Daniel can get time off at his new job once we move to Wisconsin. We might go see the Manti Pageant one last time since we are moving out of state. We will also hit up the gardens and the zoo as well.
I have been motivated to do small crafts for "the nursery" but with moving soon after the baby is born we don't want extra stuff to pack...plus...honestly, nurseries (unless you live in your own home) are a bit pointless to me. I feel like they are more of a rite of passage for moms these days. Maybe when Daniel and I have our own home we can put time into something as materialistic as that. I do think it is neat to have crafts for when the child gets older and he can keep them. I also see the fun in dreaming and creating a nursery. When I was pregnant with our first I had planned on an elephant nursery and had a color scheme and crafts all planned out, now I am just thrilled to finally be blessed with a successful pregnancy. I will be excited to help him create a theme for his bedroom when he is older though!
I am really enjoying our hypnobirthing classes. I knew before I got pregnant for the third time that I was going to go by this method and I haven't been disappointed. I have been curious lately as to how my miscarriages have prepared me for giving birth to Nathan (since I did experience mini labors). I also feel like hypnobirthing has helped with father/baby and mother/baby bonding as well as husband/wife bonding. It has especially helped since multiple angel moms often have a difficult time bonding with the baby for sometimes weeks after the baby is born (and lots of angel moms end up with PPD). I know I can trust my body to do what it needs to do when the time comes since I was blessed with being able to miscarry naturally twice (some women can't and need assistance).
Other than that, Nathaniel is an active and seemingly happy child and we are eager to finally meet him!
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