Two more weeks until my major goal of viability (24 weeks)! I have this stupid paranoid feeling that I won't make it to viability and also my anatomy scan on May 27th. It doesn't help that my mind does turn to my second angel more often this month as I would have had the baby already or would be eagerly waiting for that baby...but alas...it wasn't meant to be, and I wouldn't have this beautiful Nathaniel bringing smiles to my face daily without my losses.
Speaking of Nathan, he is a kicker. We call him our "Little Monkey" because he is always moving. Daniel enjoys feeling him kick me and also enjoys my occasional "oomph" when I get the surprise random strong jab. But I love it!
Up till a couple weeks ago I was throwing up all the time, but I think I might finally be seeing the "honeymoon" period people tell me about. I can eat again...and now all I want to do is eat. Time to truly watch what I am eating so the baby can get all the good nutrition he needs. Though all I am craving (yes, finally a craving!) is sugar--cakes, ice cream, yum! I am trying to replace those with fruit, but it isn't the same haha. I had excruciating sciatica, but I can tell the baby moved higher and I can move more freely without wincing. I hope the baby stays off my bladder for a little while longer so I can enjoy being able to better take care of myself while Daniel is away. So all good news! I almost feel normal! Seeing as I have been pregnant for a total of 9 months now off and on for less than a year, I think it is about time to feel good for a bit. yay!
We want to constantly buy things, but until we get a few pay checks from Daniel's new internship to catch up (I feel like after the miscarriages we are always playing the catch up game with finances) we are trying to keep purchases small. Thanks to my mother and sister, I won't have to worry at all about clothes and most likely bottles. I LOVE getting packages from Michigan full of blankets and baby clothes. It makes me feel that Nathan is loved from afar. I am so grateful that my mom is so active in her grand-kids lives before they even make their official debut. Thanks mom, I love you so much! There were many times I wanted to go home and hug my mom and cry after the miscarriages, sometimes I feel so lost going through things that are so difficult without my mom by my side to tell me things will be okay. I am thrilled to move closer to her and my dad in December. In fact, it is looking like I will spend Thanksgiving till almost Christmas with my family this year so they can spend time with Nathan and then we can drive to Wisconsin from there.
Of course, I cannot forget about Margaret, my mother-in-law. I adore her to pieces. Even though I only see her for a short time every year I am excited to be able to travel more next year to see her. I love spending time with her and she always says something to make me feel better about my situation. She and Vaun have helped Daniel and me so much in our time of need and I can't wait to pay her back for years of financial support by being a better daughter to her. I can see the love she has for everyone through her eyes. I am forever grateful for having that kind and wise woman in my life and I am so grateful she raised my wonderful husband to become the support he has been for me. I love you, mom!
I am just full of gratefulness for the love of everyone around me. I have amazing friends and family!
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