Our Schnoodles

Grey-Shadow and White-Misty (1 year old sisters)

Many people who have one or more losses (or struggle with infertility) end up getting a dog. In my case, we got two dogs! We really did not have plans for two, but they are sisters and we couldn't bear to separate them.

After our first loss I had this overwhelming need to care for something. So when we moved we decided to look into getting a dog. At the time we got our dogs I was almost 7 weeks pregnant. We adopted them from a family on October 2nd and we unexpectedly had our second miscarriage October 7th. I was once again thrown into devastation and unsure if I could ever have children, but now I had two untrained, 1-year old puppies to take care of.

While I was miscarrying at home we had a difficult time keeping the dogs from jumping on my already contracting uterus. I was miserable. I loved our dogs, but they made this initial time worse in a lot of ways. After the actual physical part of the miscarriage they became the best part of 2013. They carried me through my emotional pain. I trained them and loved them. We bonded and became inseparable. There were times my patience was tested during my depression, but the schnoodles always made Daniel and me laugh in our darkest moments. We would be holding each other crying because of yet another trial hitting our tiny family and then the dogs would do something to put a smile on our tear stained faces. They are our little miracles. They drive us crazy with their occasional barking, but they have proven to be very well trained (in most circumstances).

Daniel having one of many heart-to-hearts we have with Shadow.

A lot of angel moms neglect their dogs once they are finally blessed with their rainbow baby and eventually a lot of these dogs are put into shelters. Or I have heard of angel moms abusing the dogs while they were in deep emotional pain from their loss. These things are unacceptable.

I get mad at the dogs occasionally. Like when they throw up on the bed and I stick my hand in it...yeah, that doesn't make me happy. Or when I find that they chewed one of our blankets (only happened once). Or when Shadow ate my earplug (a necessity to sleep when living with Daniel). I have gotten good at getting the dogs to know when I am not pleased. Basically I just show them the object and say 'bad' and they completely get the gist and leave said object alone in the future. I once found them playing tug of war with my flip flop. And just recently I heard Shadow plop my shoe next to her bed and just fall asleep on it. They have never destroyed or actually chewed on our shoes, thank goodness. Luckily these girls learn quickly.

Our dogs know nearly all the commands for when we bring our baby into the world so that they can have an easy adjustment. I will not be the dog owner who neglects my dogs after the baby is born. These dogs are a part of my family and I will never treat them otherwise. Currently they are both sleeping peacefully next to me. They have learned to stay away from my stomach and are very gentle footed when coming to sleep on my lap. I am so happy to have them and I know it will be a challenge adjusting them to a new baby, but I know it is absolutely doable with proper training and attention.

While on bed rest these dogs have been invaluable. They keep me company and honestly they keep me sane. I talk to them a lot. If I didn't have them I would be very lonely through these long months of worry. I am so grateful for our landlords allowing us to have two dogs. I am grateful for their patience in us. I am also grateful for my husband who takes them for walks and lets them outside when I am not feeling well. They were our only happy moment in 2013 and I am glad to have them in our little family. I can't believe they are 1.5 years old now!