Today has been a rough day. I seem to be having more of them lately. I am pretty sure Nathan is cutting more teeth (please can they come before the baby?!) and I'm not feeling well (headaches and prodromal labor) which make toddler tantrums 1,000,000% more impossible to handle. Luckily I have support in Daniel. Seriously, a great spouse is key to survive any trial.
That aside, I am actually extremely happy! If I compare my two full term pregnancies, this one has been amazing! I have kept to just under 30 pound weight gain at 37+ weeks (I gained 50 with Nathan). I even started at a much healthier weight with this pregnancy so I just hit my pre-pregnancy weight for when I got pregnant with Nathan (granted my weight loss was due to an over-supply which led to starvation while dealing with a colicky baby and then methotrexate for my ectopic pregnancy last June...has it been a year already?).
This pregnancy I am not on bedrest and I am much more active chasing our rambunctious toddler around all day. I had spd in my last pregnancy (the worst possible pain in the pelvic region, imagine feeling like you are being ripped apart with each movement). This pregnancy I've had worse hyperemesis and nausea in general. I've also had kidney stones this pregnancy. I had prodromal labor with Nathan starting at about 36 ish weeks (had him at 40w4d). This baby I have had prodromal labor since 28 weeks. BH started at 9 weeks...yes...9 weeks pregnant. Seriously bh have been annoying this time around. I have also struggled with depression during this pregnancy as well as being much more hormonal (I barely cried while pregnant with Nathan). Both pregnancies I've suffered with reflux (the kind where I wake up vomiting in my mouth, yeah you definitely wanted to know about that haha). With Nathan I also had blood pressure that was threatening to become too high and swollen hands and feet. This time around I have normal to low blood pressure and I only get swollen when active out in the heat.
Overall though, I am incredibly happy that I do not have spd this time around! I can actually pick up my 34 pound 19 month old without being uncomfortable. I can get in and out of a car with no pain (let alone getting in and out of a bed). I can walk 5 feet without wanting to cry. I just feel more lively this time around.
I really need to get another picture for an update, but I never remember when I am wearing something nicer than yoga pants and a t-shirt.
I am also grateful for a husband who treats me well. He helps me feel great about the changes pregnancy brings to my body and mind. He tells me he loves my stretch marks (and honestly, I absolutely love them too). I don't know what I did to deserve him. I can't wait to see him become a dad again for the 5th time (if you count angels and earthly children).
I already worry about ppd. I had it after Nathan and I chose not to get treatment, but looking back it was miserable, lonely, and I don't want to experience it again. This time around we are hoping to have a summer filled with family and friends to combat some of the depression if possible. Mostly I worry about how Nathan will reacte to seeing his mom go through something so common but also so misunderstood. And that brings me back to what I said at the beginning of this post, a great spouse is key to survive any trial, and I know I have his support through everything.
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