39 Week Update

Looks like all these contractions that I have been having are actually doing something...yay. But that doesn't mean much to me. I have been having consistent contractions all day long for...I have lost count on how many weeks. By night they calm down for the most part (or I am just too tired to care about them). There was one time this week I woke up from strong contractions thinking "I should go back to bed and rest because by morning I may need to eat and head out to the hospital." Obviously they calmed down enough by morning. I would have loved to have had this baby on the 5th like it looked like was going to happen. Nathaniel is keeping us on our toes. Part of me wishes I was the woman to have regular contractions one day and then have the baby the next with no other major signs of labor. Fluffy pregnancies? I have been keeping busy with random errands and things to do so I am not thinking too much about anything.

I am sure Nathan will come when he is good and ready and he does not have an eviction notice. I hate those stupid posts about wanting the pregnancy over because they are so uncomfortable. It isn't fair to all those who yearn to be pregnant with all their might but for whatever painful circumstance are unable to get or stay pregnant for that long. Yes, pregnancy is uncomfortable and painful at times but it is a huge blessing. If I did choose one thing to complain about, it would be my acid reflux. I have had it since halfway and always forgot to mention it to my doctor. I remembered at my last appointment a couple days ago but decided not to ask for help with it because this baby is coming no matter what in 2 weeks (and I hate medications). My reflux isn't on the normal scale, it is so bad I can't sleep, eat, drink, or even cough without throwing up. It doesn't matter what I eat or how much I eat. It doesn't matter if I am sitting or lying down. At night I wake up gagging on vomit. But even with this horrible reflux, I am so happy for Nathan and for finally being blessed with a child that made it to term and will be arriving very soon. I have loved every moment of this pregnancy with him--the bad and the good. I am going to miss it, but I will have a squirming baby to nurture on the outside very soon and that is thrilling to me.

My thoughts on labor? Not worried about it. Sometimes I sit and think "shouldn't I be scared?" but no, I am not. I am excited! Sure, labor isn't going to be the most comfortable thing I have gone through, but I experienced mini labors with both my miscarriages and though I know full term labor won't be the same, I do know that I will have joy at the end and not despair waiting for me. That is what will keep me going. After all, Christ suffered for our sins in the Garden and on the cross, this is one of many sacrifices I will do for each of my kids. The pain, discomfort, pressure...all of it will only be for a moment in time, but my joy will be endless. Why should I fear labor? I have felt throughout this whole pregnancy that Nathan was different, that he is going to make it here safely. I feel as if this pregnancy and the labor/delivery will be guided and protected. I will have Daniel and my doula by my side for support and eventually I will be handed my son.

Daniel and I are stoked to meet Nathan. For now though, we are spending as much time as possible together, just the two of us because we know that this is finally it, we will soon be 3 on earth and 5 including our children waiting for us.